


Oh Christmas Lights (Keep Shining On)

by CapturetheFinnick



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: Christmas, F/F, Fluff and Angst, didn't really mean for it to be this sad, mentions of alice michelle, this is quite sad guys?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-23
Updated: 2018-08-23
Packaged: 2019-07-01 12:42:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15774345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CapturetheFinnick/pseuds/CapturetheFinnick
Summary: As Christmas rolls around, all Waverly can focus on decorating, picking the perfect tree, and baking lots and lots of cookies, but in reality, Christmas is a harder time for all of them.Piece on the Earp Family at Christmas. It may be a time that reminds them of all that they've lost, of bad Christmas' past, but this year they have each other, and maybe just maybe Waverly will finally get the family Christmas she's always dreamed of.





	Oh Christmas Lights (Keep Shining On)

**Author's Note:**

> So this just kept getting longer and longer ? Originally it was going to be a short one shot I wrote in one day, but now it's a very long (for me) one shot that took me five, and I also didn't have as much time to edit / redraft as I would like bc I just wanted to post it before the episode airs and I have no time tomorrow, so it is what it is now ? I wasn't intending it to be as sad as it turned out but honestly exactly like my baby girl fic, the Earp past/present is just really sad? There's not much avoiding it (don't worry there's some fluff too.) Anyway, I was just inspired by the upcoming Christmas episode, and this is how I saw it going down. Hope you enjoy!

Waverly hadn’t stopped in several days. Routing through the attic for anything that could remotely pass as a decoration, hanging streamers and old half rotten candy canes over the fire place, dragging Wynonna round all the local craft shops and filling several carts full of anything festive (who needs _three_ mini polar bear statues?). Making Nicole walk around the Christmas tree farm for hours with her to pick out a tree in a blizzard until both of their noses turned bright red, spending hours on her tip toes making sure every inch of the tree was covered, just in case someone had somehow forgotten it was indeed Christmas. And now? Now she was _baking._

Wynonna wandered into the kitchen, dragging her feet, her eyes landing on where Waverly was stress mixing some batter, the whisk flying slightly too fast around the bowl, splattering mixture against the walls, flour all over her cheeks, and in her hair, a slightly manic look in her eyes, just underneath a splatter of mixture that hung onto her left eyebrow.

“Whoah baby girl,” she said, leaning against the doorframe, her head still banging a little (her idea of ‘getting into the Christmas spirit’ involved more drinking and less organising, but at least they were _peppermint_ shots.) “Are we trying to feed a small army?” Her eyes drifted to the plates and plates of cookies and cakes and pastries that aligned the table, the smell filling the kitchen, making Wynonna even hungrier than she was before, and there were more still rising in the oven, Waverly’s apron splattered with different colour mixtures.

“It’s _Christmas,_ ” Waverly said, grabbing a glass, filling it with water and handing it to Wynonna with a knowing half-smile,

“We don’t even know enough people to eat all these,” Wynonna raised her eyebrows, and Waverly’s face fell just a little,

“I usually take them around the town, hand them out to the kids,” she said, “you should come, Nicole’s already coming,”

“Well then you don’t need me then,” Wynonna grinned, “if you’ve already roped Haught into it.” Her eyes glanced over all the treats on the table once more,  “I knew there was a reason you won that sash,” she shook her head, “you’re too good for this town baby girl,”

“I just want everything to be perfect,” Waverly said, avoiding Wynonna’s eye contact, mixing the batter just a little slower now, the snow falling softly outside the window. Wynonna softened just a little,

“It will be baby girl, don’t you worry,” she said, reaching out a hand and placing it on Waverly’s shoulder, the unspoken lying like an ocean between them, lapping around their ankles.

_I just want everything to be perfect, for our first Christmas all together._

This time last year Wynonna was off getting pissed in a bar in Poland, singing out-of-tune folk songs with strangers in a bar, washing down whiskey with more whiskey (and not even the festive kind). Wynonna herself could barely remember their last family Christmas, complete with presents and dinner and snow, and Waverly had barely come up to her hip, her big doe eyes and her tiny thumb pressed firmly in her mouth, so no doubt it was just a tiny fragment of a memory for Waverly herself. She pulled her in for a hug. Just thinking of Waverly spending Christmas’ just her and Gus and Curtis, thinking of her looking at the snow and wishing for the big family Christmas’ she’d always seen on TV was enough to make her heart hurt just a little, where Waverly was concerned she always had a weak spot.

_And now little Alice will be her mirror._

She tried not to think about it.  

“What was that for?” Waverly said, suspicious as Wynonna pulled away,

“Just love you sis,” she said, grabbing a cookie off one of the plates and shoving it in her mouth,

“Hey those are for the children!” Waverly yelled after Wynonna as she walked away.

~

There was a knock at the front door, and Waverly opened it, her hair frazzled, covered nearly head to toe now in flour.

“Wow you’ve been busy huh?” Nicole said, beaming up at her, her short red hair tucked into a white woollen bobble hat, her cheeks flushed red from the cold, a matching white scarf tied around her neck. Her face fell a little seeing the clear stress running across Waverly’s face, her messy hair, and the way she’d clearly been running her hands through it. She moved towards her, wanting to scoop her up in her arms, to kiss the stress from her face, but Waverly turned around abruptly, heading back towards the kitchen, leaving Nicole hanging under the mistletoe she had so painstakingly hung over the door (paired with a matching wreath.)

“You okay?” Nicole said, stomping the snow from her boots and following Waverly into the kitchen,

“Just busy,” she said quickly, peering into the oven, “can you check on these whilst I get dressed?”

She brushed past Nicole, running up the stairs. Nicole frowned, _something was definitely up._ She wandered towards the living room, hearing the TV blaring.

“Haught,” Wynonna said from where she was sprawled across the sofa, “thought I heard you.”

“Rough night huh?” she smiled, noting the dimness of the room, “Was probably more fun than last-minute pre-Christmas paperwork,” she rolled her eyes,

“That sucks, at least you’re done now though,” she grinned, “just in time to call at every house in purgatory and give them cookies!”

“I think it’s sweet,”

Wynonna rolled her eyes, “of course _you_ would think that,”

There was a moment of silence.

“Hey Wy, is Waves okay? She seems a little … off,”

Wynonna looked up from where she’d previously been staring at the television, old re-runs of friends running endlessly in the background, Joey wandering around with a turkey attached to his head to an infinite laugh track.

“Hard time of year, you know,” she said, letting it hang in the air without elaborating. She didn’t have to. Nicole knew all too well how hard Christmas could be, she usually spent it alone, focusing on not ringing her parents, reminding herself exactly _why_ she didn’t speak to them. This was going to be the first Christmas she’d spent around people in quite some time and she’d be lying if she didn’t say at least a small part of her dreaded the festive season.

“Oh I know,” she said softly, reaching out to place a hand on top of Wynonna’s, “if you need me, either of you, I’m here for you though,” she smiled,

“Yeah I know,” Wynonna said softly, and it was an odd moment of genuine connection, Wynonna didn’t even crack a joke, their eye contact only broken by Waverly screaming from the other room,

“Nicole! What did you do?”

“Oh god,” Wynonna said, “you’d better go.”

“What is it baby-“ Nicole said rounding the corner, to be met by smoke, thick and grey covering the room, Waverly throwing a tray of (now ruined) cookies into the sink, reaching to open the window, and fanning it with her (pink, floral) oven gloves.

“I told you to keep an eye on them!” she shouted, her bottom lip wobbling, “now everything’s ruined,” she said, tears spilling from her eyes, she felt as if all the small little cuts were opening, the stuffing she tried so carefully to stitch back into place falling out all over the floor. She started to shake.

“Sssh, sssh baby it’s okay it’s not ruined,” Nicole said, wrapping her arms around Waverly, letting her head fall perfectly on her chest, tucking her head under Nicole’s chin. Nicole could feel her shake against her, could feel the tears from her eyes spill directly onto her jumper.

“I j-just wanted it to be perfect,” Waverly cried, her voice coming out twisted and strangled and Nicole clutched her a little tighter.

“It is perfect,” Nicole whispered, her voice as warm as honey as she let her girlfriend sob on her chest about burnt cookies. Because _of course_ she knew it wasn’t really about burnt cookies. Waverly was so close to having a family again; she had her sister back, had her mama back, had Nicole now and Doc, and Jeremy. And she just couldn’t stop picturing herself as a child staring out at the snow, wishing for her sister to come back, imagining her mama walking right out of that snow, and feeling like the loneliest person in the whole wide world. And a part of her, a part that hid in darkened corners, was afraid that it would all disappear, puff into black smoke like the cookies; burnt. She was on the edge of something so perfect, and it could disappear all in one moment. She thought of Dolls’ grin, gone forever, lost in the woods, here one moment gone the next.

_Things fall apart, the centre cannot hold._

She started to sob a little harder.

“Here,” Nicole said, handing her a tissue, pausing and placing a hand on her shoulder, “we don’t have to go if you don’t want,” she said softly, and although Waverly _knew_ she was only trying to help, it snapped something in her, she couldn’t fail at this too.

“No,” she said firmly, raising her voice a little, “we have to go.” A finality to her words.

“Okay,” Nicole said, smiling, letting her hand slip into Waverly’s and pressing a small kiss against her forehead, “we can go slow though, okay? We have all day,”

Waverly smiled up at her, a small rainbow amid her rainfall of tears, her heart beating a million miles a minute, urging her to rush around, telling her that she had a thousand and one things to do, that she wasn’t going _fast enough._ But instead she let herself be in this slow moment for one second, allowed herself to just look back up at Nicole and smile,

“Thanks, I appreciate it,”

“And I appreciate you,” Nicole said, leaning down to place a soft kiss on Waverly’s lips before turning to wrap the cookies, placing them into the baskets Waverly had lay out at the side. And Waverly wondered what she’d done to have her life fall perfectly into place.

~

Waverly and Nicole drove around for the best part of the day, the pair of them knocking on doors and handing out cookies like the kind of carollers you actually want visiting. Waverly even stopped to chat to most people, demonstrating her classic smile-and-wave approach, any hint of sadness banished from her eyes, as her inner people pleaser took over, _literally_ spreading good will and joy. And Nicole was reminded why she’d been so drawn to Waverly in the first place. She was just so good, it seemed to hang over her like a halo, a perfectly formed aura. She could see the way her warmth transferred from house to house, placing a smile on the faces of people. And despite the fact that the cold was biting at her fingers and nose, she felt a steady warmth settle inside.

~

They piled back into the police car, hands freezing even through mittens, and ears burning a little from the cold.

“Time for home?” Waverly said, “I could do with a fireplace right about now,”

“I just need to swing by the police station quickly, check the last of the mail,” Nicole smiled at her, pausing a little, her head tilting just slightly, her eyes filled with affection,

“What?” Waverly said, smiling,

“I just love you a lot,” Nicole said, feeling a slight blush bloom over her face,

“I love you too, you softie,” Waverly said, moving forward to kiss Nicole, letting her hand reach around the back of her neck, pulling her closer and deepening the kiss, Nicole’s hand on her knee.

“Well that’s one way to keep warm,” Nicole smiled after they broke apart.

~

Waverly waited in the car as Nicole popped quickly into the police station. The place was eerie when it was quiet, the normal hustle and bustle of people replaced with only dust mites floating gently in the darkness. She switched the light on, and made her way quickly to the post box, opening it with a key from her belt. She sorted through the letters, mostly formal, stamped or typed instead of written, and at a glance, most of them could wait till after Christmas. But one stood out from the rest, it was slightly wonky and crumpled, the address written in pen that had been smudged in the snow. She opened it slowly, already suspecting who it was from. There was no note inside, just a single printed picture with _Merry Christmas!_ scrawled across the back. Nicole turned it over, her breath catching in her throat. It was a picture of Alice. She was sat, propped up against some pillows, in a perfectly pristine red velvet dress, in front of a Christmas tree and a roaring fire, her face lit up, her cheeks rosy, even a hint of a smile.

Nicole remembered seeing a similar picture of Wynonna above the fireplace at the homestead, and she could see the similarities now, the same big brown eyes staring out at her. She felt a small tear escape, running down her cheek and hitting the floor. It was all too easy to forget that Alice was out there, her absence was a giant black gorge, but Nicole remembered her absence now more than anything, felt the sadness and the pull that there was someone missing, but she forgot that she was a real person, a real baby. A real baby Wynonna wasn’t allowed to hold, wasn’t allowed to sing Christmas songs to in front of the fire, and dress in festive outfits. A real baby that wasn’t allowed to be a part of their family. The picture made it all too real.

~

She didn’t tell Waverly when she got back into the cop car. Wynonna had trusted her to be the one to have correspondence for a reason, the police channels were much more official and harder to track, plus less people would think to look there. Nicole knew these were the reasons, but even so having Wynonna trust her, even just a little, was something she was proud of.

~

“Do I get my kiss under the mistletoe now?” Nicole joked as they approached the homestead door, the mistletoe plant dimly lit by the porch light.

“I don’t know,” Waverly smirked, “I hear a mistletoe kiss is binding, you won’t be able to get rid of me,” she said, arching her eyebrows.

“As if I’d ever want to,” Nicole said, a grin lighting up her face as she leaned down to kiss Waverly, her arms encircling her. She felt Waverly smile against her mouth and pulled her closer to her, feeling Waverly run her hands through her hair.

They heard a cough behind them, and split apart, revealing Mama Earp stood in the doorway, her arms folded, and head tilted, a small smile on her lips.

“So this is the cop you were talking about then?” she said, very deliberately looking Nicole up and down, Nicole going still.

“Yes, mama this is Nicole,” Waverly said, beaming at Nicole, trying to ease the flash of nerves that had spread across her face,

“Nice to meet you, ma’am,” Nicole said, letting go of Waverly’s hand to reach out and shake Michelle’s,

“Firm handshake,” she shook her head, “I never thought one of my daughters would date a cop,” she said, laughing, a booming laugh that seemed to echo off the snow-covered land. Nicole didn’t know what to say, the three of them standing on the front porch as if it were some kind of standoff, she half expected Michelle to pull a gun on her, right there and then, _like mother like daughter._ Michelle rolled her eyes, “you better both come in then, you’ll freeze out there,” she said, her face relaxing into a smile towards Waverly, before turning back to Nicole, “but I’m watching you Haught.”

“I already gave Nicole the speech, mama,” Wynonna said, rounding the corner, two glasses of whiskey in her hands, nodding towards Nicole, “she knows if she ever hurts Waverly she better run,” she smirked as Waverly rolled her eyes, the pair of them knocking the snow from their boots.

Michelle became quiet, heading towards the kitchen. Waverly hadn’t noticed, but Wynonna furrowed her brow, taking another sip of her whiskey and following her to the kitchen. Michelle was stood looking out the window, the snow falling even heavier than before now, taking up most of the air, making it look more like dusk than morning.

“Hey,” Wynonna said, “I brought you some Whiskey,”

“You know me too well,” she joked, but the usual fire from her eyes had dimmed, a glass film falling across them,

“Something wrong?” Wynonna said, turning to lean against the kitchen counter, so she was opposite her mother.

“Nothing to worry you with, darling,” she mustered a half-heartened smile,

“Eh I have enough worries, what’s another?” Wynonna said, grinning before taking another sip of her whiskey.

“I just keep forgetting how much I’ve missed,” Michelle said, eyes still fixed on the snow outside, “I left so long ago and everything’s changed all around me,” she paused “I guess I’m just not quite sure how to fit back into my own life,” she shook her head, “it’s dumb I know,”

“It’s not dumb,” Wynonna said, placing an arm around her,

“It’s almost like being locked up was easier,” she laughed, “how ridiculous is that? At least then I didn’t have to think about anything, face anything, real life felt a million miles away,”

Wynonna laughed, “I’ve been there, easier to run around Europe pretending real life doesn’t exist than to face reality head on, but believe me,” she said, placing both her hands on Michelle’s shoulders, “once you’ve worked through all the initial shit it’s more than worth it, you can’t really replace having real connections with people,”

“Look at you you’ve gone all soft on me,” Michelle drawled, laughing despite the small tears that had started to gather in her eyes, Wynonna grinning as she reached up to brush away a tear that had started to roll down her cheek.

“I love you, you know,” Michelle said, making direct eye contact with Wynonna, a vulnerability there that she’d rarely seen from her own mother, “seen as we’re being emotional and all,”

“I love you too, Mama,” Wynonna said, pulling her mother in for a hug, oddly aware that she was taller than her now, it felt odd, an unbalanced relationship. As a child her mama had been so tall, all-knowing, strong, unreachable, and yet here she was, small in Wynonna’s own arms, just a person, not a mythical woman with all the answers.

“Hey Wy,” Nicole said from the doorway, hanging half in, half-out of the kitchen, not wanting to intrude on any kind of important moment,

“Yup,” Wynonna said, turning around to face her,

“Can I speak to you for a second?” she said, her voice slightly quieter than usual in a way that made Wynonna’s forehead crinkle, setting off all her internal alarms,

“Is something wrong?”

“I’ll tell you in a second,” she said.

Wynonna turned back to Michelle, “I’ll be back in a moment,”

“It’s fine,” she laughed, “someone’s got to start cooking this meal if we want to have it before it goes dark.”

~

They were stood upstairs in Wynonna’s room, which was cooler than downstairs, a chill in the air. The window was cracked open just a little, a small pool of melted snow on the window sill.

“You’re scaring me now, Haught,” she said, closing the door behind her as Nicole moved to close the window,

“I got some mail today,” she said, holding out the letter to Wynonna. A lifeline. Wynonna didn’t have to open it to know what it was, her breath catching in her throat. She felt herself shake a little, staring at Nicole’s outstretched hand.

“What is it?” she said, afraid to reach out, as if when she touched it would disappear.

They’d organised with Gus before Alice had even been born that any mail had to be sent from a different town to the one where Gus and Alice would be living, and had to arrive at the police station. They’d made all the important arrangements, thought of every safety precaution, but this was the first they’d heard in 4 months (19 weeks). And actually knowing that inside the envelope was news about her own baby daughter, her own baby girl who she still woke up sometimes in the middle of night expecting her to be by her side, tucked against her own chest. Her own baby daughter who’d created a chasm in her own life, whose cries she could still sometimes hear when she couldn’t sleep. That was a whole different ball game. Talk was talk, this was real. She didn’t know if she could look.

“It’s a photo, there’s no note,” Nicole said, a pained expression in her eyes, as she watched Wynonna practically shrink before her, as if she were retreating inside her own body like a snail, only a fragile shell exterior standing before her.

Wynonna leaned back against the door, as if she were considering whether or not to open it. As if she really had a choice, as if she hadn’t thought about what her baby girl looked like now every day for nineteen weeks, as if she hadn’t tried to picture her face every night before she went to sleep, as if she wasn’t scared to death she was starting to forget what she looked like.

“Here, pass it to me,” she said quietly, and Nicole passed her the envelope, watching as she slowly opened it as if any sudden movement would make it disintegrate. She slowly pulled the photo out of the envelope, her eyes already welling up at the note scrawled on the back. It was the same handwriting that used to scrawl letters to Wynonna when she was institutionalised, letters that she would be too angry to read, but that she took travelling with her, reading them on particularly lonely nights when the sky was big and vast. Knowing there was a voice out there, calling her home, was enough to stop her going over the edge.

She didn’t want to turn the photo over, it hurt too much, to know she was out there.

She took a breath, turning it over, and she was met with the most perfect little baby she’d ever seen in her life, her big eyes bright and beaming, her cheeks puffed, even a flicker of a smile. She burst into tears, her shoulders shaking her eyes blurring. She couldn’t even see the photo anymore, but still she clutched it in her hand, as if if she clutched it hard enough, Alice would manifest right there in the room, and she would get to hold her again.  

Nicole wrapped her arms around Wynonna and let her cry into her chest, the same way she had held Waverly that morning, feeling her rattle against her chest. Nicole didn’t know how long they stood there, the snow falling out the window, a continuum.

~

“Doc,” Wynonna said quietly after some time, pulling away from Nicole, sniffling and wiping her nose with her arm, “can you get Doc please?” she said,

“Of course,” Nicole said, smiling softly at Wynonna,

“Ah shit I got your jumper all wet,” she said, motioning towards the dark stain on her red jumper,

“It’s fine I think I have another one in Waves’ room,”

And Wynonna wrinkled in nose in disgust, despite being in floods of tears as Nicole slipped from the room.

~

Waverly was eagerly chatting to Jeremy when Nicole came back downstairs now dressed in her favourite thick, blue woollen jumper. Waverly and Jeremy were perched on different armchairs around the fireplace and Waverly looked up as Nicole entered, beaming at her. Nicole leaned down, placing a kiss on her cheek before sitting down next to her.

Jeremy couldn’t hide the grin that passed over his face, seeing Waverly’s face light up.

“Anyway, Nicole, you can settle this one for us, Batgirl or Wonder Woman?” he said, pouncing on her.

“Wonder woman,” she said without a beat of hesitation,

“Told you,” Waverly said, high-fiving Nicole, “knew you’d answer correctly,”

“Well clearly there’s a bias in the sample,” Jeremy said, raising her eyebrows, “but I’ll let you off this time, Haught, seen as it’s Christmas and all,”

~

There was a light knock at the door.

“Come in,” Wynonna said, her voice catching into a choke,

Doc entered, taking his hat from his head, and holding it against his chest.

“Officer Haught said you needed to speak to me,” he said in his usual gruff, southern drawl. Just the sight of him made Wynonna burst into tears all over again, she wanted to rush over and hug him, to feel his strong arms around her, but instead she stood still, the picture still clutched firmly in her hand, fading in and out of existence, like a wisp on the breeze. “Is everything okay?”

In lieu of an answer, she simply held out the photo, watching a sombre shadow cross over his face, sadness filling his eyes as he stared down,

“Our baby girl,” he said, smiling despite the tears in his eyes, “she’s got so big,” he paused, watching a fragile sort of smile fall across Wynonna’s face, “she’s got your eyes,”

“And your nose,” she said.

An invisible thread hung between, tying them together, a silk thread of sorrow that only the two of them could ever truly share. Doc pulled at that thread, closing the gap between them, and letting Wynonna fall against his chest,

“She’s so beautiful,” he said softly,

“She’s doing well,” Wynonna said, letting the words hang between them in the air, more to reassure herself than anything else.

~

Waverly wandered into the kitchen, watching her Mama frantically chop vegetables, her eyes darting constantly to a recipe book, as if she was looking for some reassurance.

“Do you need some help?” she said quietly, and Michelle looked up at her, a smile falling across her face.

“That would be great,” she said, passing a knife, “I don’t really know what I’m doing much these days,” she said, laughing, “you could say it’s been a while,”

Waverly picked up the knife, chopping in silence. And she was aware she hadn’t been alone with her Mama properly since finding her again, and she knew in her head that it would make more sense to call Nicole and Jeremy in here, to have them help with the cooking, but selfishly she wanted this moment entirely to herself. She wanted to enjoy the _normal things,_ as dumb as it sounded, just getting to cook with her own mother was something she never thought she was going to be able to do. She relished the companionable silence.

Michelle looked back and forth from the open cook book to the stuffing ingredients in front of her,

“Here let me,” Waverly said, pulling the ingredients towards her. Michelle fell silent, taking a small step back, “Are you okay?” Waverly said, her brow furrowing as she stared down at the table,

“I just wanted to do something for you,” Michelle said, “you wait all these years for a mother, and you get a fairly useless one, huh?” she laughed,

“You’re not useless,”

“I just wanted to make up for- for not being there for you for all these years,”

“You’re here now,” Waverly said, a small smile on her face, “that’s what matters.” If she started to think too much about how her Mama hadn’t been there for her she would cry, so instead she was focusing on the now, on the present. She turned back to the stuffing.

“Gus would come to the prison, every year, right after Christmas you know,” Michelle said, her voice still quiet. Waverly went still. “She would bring me photos of the two of you, would tell me stories,” she said, trying to judge Waverly’s facial expressions, but she was just still, her eyes downcast.

“I didn’t know that,” Waverly said slowly,

“I just wanted you to know,” Michelle said, taking a breath, “I didn’t leave you because I didn’t love you, I love you to the moon and back,”

Tears started to roll down Waverly’s cheeks, and Michelle pulled her in for a hug, “It was awful to stay away from you for so long, but it kept me going, knowing you were safe,” she said, clutching Waverly a little tighter, still her littlest daughter despite all these years, she could still tuck her head into her chest, could still feel Waverly’s hair tickle against her chin, just like when she was younger.

“So,” Waverly said, laughing a little, wiping the tears away from her eyes, “we should probably get some help if we’re gonna do all this cooking?”

~

When Wynonna came downstairs everyone was cooking in the kitchen. Jeremy had somehow managed to mess up placing potatoes into a baking tray, and Nicole was helping him re-arrange them, rolling her eyes. Waverly was busy making cranberry sauce, mixing eagerly, and someone had found an old cd player, and were playing _now! That’s what I call Christmas._ It seemed like a perfect scene from a Christmas card; _happy holidays from our family to yours._ It seemed unfair that it only made Wynonna more upset.

“Hey,” Nicole said, looking up from where she was helping Jeremy, the smile falling from her face. Doc was stood behind Wynonna, both of them lingering in the doorway. Nicole moved to pause the CD,

“You okay?” Waverly said, her eyes crinkling ever so slightly,

“Doc and I have something to show you,” she said, “it’s sad, but we don’t it to be sad anymore,”

“You’re pregnant again?” Jeremy said, his eyes widening, making Wynonna burst out laughing,

“No, not quite,” she took a breath, “we got a picture today, of Alice,” she heard Waverly gasp just a little, “from Gus,”

Jeremy and Waverly moved to crowd around Wynonna, Waverly placing an arm around Wynonna. She tried not to be sad, clearly what Wynonna needed right now was a sense of normalcy, a small moment of happiness.

“She’s beautiful,” she said softly, “she looks exactly like you,”

“That dress is so cute,” Jeremy said,

“Yeah Gus’ style has definitely improved,” Wynonna smiled, “do you remember when she made us wear matching red velvet dresses, even though I was _thirteen,”_ she rolled her eyes at Waverly,

“Can I see?” Michelle said softly, and Jeremy moved out of the way to let her take the picture in her own hands. “That’s my granddaughter?” she said, her face lighting up,

“It sure is,” Wynonna said, pausing, “Grandma.”

“Oh my god,” Michelle said, “you girls are going to make me old before my time,” she rolled her eyes, “Grandmother? I’m only just 50,”

Wynonna laughed, “Whatever you say, granny.”

“I think we have a frame for that upstairs somewhere,” Waverly said, squeezing Wynonna’s shoulders.

~

“There,” she said, placing the (newly-framed) picture of Alice on the mantle place, next to the picture of Wynonna and Willa in front of the Christmas tree as babies, and the picture of all three of them in the fields, perfectly slotted in, the newest edition to the family. It felt right that she have a place in the homestead, as if she was firmly stitched into their family tree now. The picture would be waiting for her, when she returned.

~

The steam curled from the plates that were spread across the table, illuminated by the many (many) Christmas lights that Waverly had strewn everywhere. The six of them were squeezed around the Earp’s four seater table, Christmas music softly playing in the background. A small blue plaster still clung to Jeremy’s finger where he’d cut his hand trying to chop potatoes, but they were all finally ready to eat (the sun had only set two hours, which Wynonna considered a win), their stomachs rumbling.

“Shall we start?” Michelle said

“Wait one second,” Wynonna said, Jeremy dropping his fork he’d pre-emptively picked up, “can I say something first?”

Doc shot her a look of encouragement,

“I know I don’t normally do vulnerability and emotions,”

Michelle rolled her eyes, “must be hereditary,”

“But I just wanna say I appreciate you all, truly, and I consider you all family,” she said, pausing, “except maybe Haught,” she grinned,

“Love you too Wy,” Nicole rolled her eyes.

“You’re all important to me, and I’m glad you’re all here,” Waverly smiled up at her, “But I just wanted to take a moment to remember those who aren’t here,” she paused and Waverly squeezed her hand to reassure her, “Baby Alice, who I hope Gus is feeding all the Christmas pudding,” she laughed, “and Xavier Dolls,” her voice caught, and she cleared her throat, “I don’t even know if he liked Christmas the damn secretive bastard,” she laughed, “but I _know_ he considered us family,” she held up her glass, “to Xavier Dolls,”

“To Xavier Dolls,” came the echo from around the room, a small tear gathering in Wynonna’s eye as Waverly stood up, throwing her arms around her,

“Now let’s eat!” she said, earning a round of laughter.

~

They all lay around the living room, the fire roaring and flickering light over the room. A film played in the background, an old black and white one that Waverly had insisted on watching, and that everyone was else was too full to protest. Wynonna drifted in and out of consciousness, her stomach full, the fire warm against her face, as if a small glowing aura of happiness floated around her. Her eyes drifted to the fireplace where Alice’s picture stood, amongst the others as if there were nothing wrong, as if she were just another member of their family. And she _was_ a part of the family, and Wynonna was sure she would be here for next Christmas, a tiny little human prodding at them, not letting them rest, at least she would be if Wynonna had anything to do with it.

She looked around, Waverly curled up against Nicole’s side, Nicole passed out against the side of the sofa, her mouth slightly open, and her arm still slung around Waverly’s shoulder. Jeremy was also asleep, he and Doc lay across the main sofa, Jeremy’s arm thrown around Doc’s leg, Doc’s moustache twitching a little in his sleep. She made eye contact with Michelle across the room, and she offered her a small smile, motioning to where Waverly had finally given in and fallen asleep too. And in that moment she felt perfectly content, wrapped in a warm little bubble. Because maybe things weren’t perfect, in fact maybe they were far from it, but she had _this,_ she had a family she would do anything for, which is more than she could have even begun to imagine a year ago. And so what if it was a dysfunctional family, born out of choice instead of blood. Maybe it was a family with demons (both literal and figurative) scratching at their door, seeping through the cracks, and maybe they wouldn’t make it onto a hallmark family Christmas card, but it was _her_ family and goddammit if they were going to let anything stop them having a good Christmas. Looking at the six of them, slung around on various furniture as snow fell outside the window, she thought this moment would do, this moment would do just fine.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, let me know what you think!  
> My twitter is hazelclace and my tumblr is waverlysangels (i changed it again), I am currently taking prompts if you want to prompt me I'll try and do it asap.  
> Hope you have a good day!


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